(a summary of an unknown life)
by jax2014
Summary: Trina is...conflicted, yes, that is the right word. Conflicted by herself, and what she wants most, a funeral, and the goodness (for lack of a better word, Trina says) it will serve to her once she is dead.
1. (trina is quite a lovely tree)

Trina was planning her funeral again. It would be outside, by the wildflowers, her casket would be under a tree, and all of them, _Tori, _would be crying and they would be wearing black, see, and all of them, from Hollywood Arts, would be there, and _Andre, and Cat, and Jade, and Beck, and Tori…._

But Trina didn't want to die.

But what she did want was a funeral, and Trina called herself a sinner when she thought of that, because that is attention-seeking, see, and she wasn't that, well, she was, but-

Tori is _perfect. _It is a fact, in her mind, that she is. _Her looks, her voice, her humor, her-_

Trina was thinking about Tori again. She did this a lot, and when the thought of her sister graced her mind, she thought of those things, the things Tori had that Trina could only stumble upon in a rare moment and the worst part was that Tori is kind.

She wasn't evil, no, she was wonderfully kind, and smart, and all of the above, but she wasn't perfect either (because she did kiss Cat's boyfriend a few episodes ago), but that _made _her perfect. She was perfectly imperfect, which shouldn't make sense, but it does.

But Tori doesn't have anything to do with Trina's funeral, well, no, she has _everything _to do with it. Because all Trina wants is the feeling of being noticed, for being, I don't know, good.

_Good. What a great word, Trina, you want to be good. Because being dead will make you good. Good at what? Dying? Really, really, good-_

Then Trina crashes into Tanya Richard, and the two of them stumble into the cardboard tree on the stage, stopping the music, and Trina's thoughts as well.

Tanya Richard is a small girl, maybe five-three, and she has a high-pitched scream, as small girls often do. Trina stumbles to get off of her, rising to her feet and subconsciously tightening her ponytail, as if to relieve the embarrassment she feels.

On the stage Tanya is crying, claiming that Trina "shattered her wrist", and the rest of the chorus in the low-scale production of Sailor-Meets-Vampire-In-The-Amazon-With-Flying-Who-Knows-Whats (a Sikowitz favorite) crowds around and Trina sees Tori, standing near the front, clad in her pastel blue dress and curled hair (Trina is wearing a leafy top and a cardboard mask, by the way, she is a tree, after all), looking awful concerned, and staring at her sister as if she purposely almost broke the 105 pound Tanya Richards' wrist.

A lanky red haired girl, (dressed as a sailor, a step up from a tree, Trina does believe), wraps her skinny arm around Tanya and helps her to her fit, before leading her out of the auditorium and to the nurse, as the rest of the production stands with their hands over their mouths, (shocked, Trina does believe, at her fault) before Sikowitz starts the music again and the production continues, Tori slowly but surely launching into her vocals, the rest of the chorus keeping a steady pace and a steady distance as well, from the alleged wrist-murderer, that is Trina Vega.

Trina ignores their worried stares, and focuses on her dancing, but her heart isn't in it anymore, if it ever was. She focuses on the steps, to help her out.

_Step right step left, spin, pause, Tori hit the high note, spin other way, half turn, wildflowers, yes, the casket will be mahogany, Tori will be wearing the little black number she bought from Urban, she will be crying, tears running down her face, not a pretty cry either, an ugly, disgusting cry, and her heels will sink in the mud, but she'll still be perfect, Trina, she still will…._

The music stops and the cast take five. Trina can still hear the whispers as the dismount the stage, some real, some her imagination.

"_Snapped her wrist in half! You should've seen the look on her sister's face."_

_ "Poor Tanya. She was in a lot of pain. Trina didn't say sorry."_

_ "Stop, she's obviously sorry, maybe she was just in shock or something, I dunno…."_

_ "Let's go stop by the nurse after rehearsal, see if Tanya's okay."_

_ "I heard they took her to the ER!"_

Trina focused on the wildflowers instead. (Mostly blue, but hints of pink, not too much color, won't overwhelm the setting will it? Maybe some lavender….")

What Trina would give to have that broken wrist.

**Ahhh, my first story ever! I love Victorious, and sometimes I feel like Trina doesn't get enough attention. I wanted to try telling her story, and maybe some of the thoughts that go unsaid in the show. Please give me thoughts and suggestions! Anything would be wonderful (:**

**~Jax**


	2. (jade west has concerns)

Trina is pacing in the bathroom again. She does this sometimes, when she's tired and lonely and maybe wants to get out of class for a bit, and what Trina finds most soothing is pacing across the floor, hearing her heels click against the tiles, and finally getting _some quiet_, in this messed up mind of hers-

In comes Jade West. (Jade West, if you didn't know, is a beautiful voice with a beautiful heart, something Trina liked to pretend to see in her. Jade would be at the funeral, yes, she would be wearing not black but a shade of grey, a dark shade of grey, something to rebel in but still show her respects, yes, and her black-blue-streaked-hair would be pulled back, and-)

Trina stops pacing and she turns to the mirror, absentmindedly running her fingers through her hair and primping, yes, primping, that's a good word, unlike _good, dear God, good._

Jade West is looking in the mirror too, but not primping, just standing, fixated on her reflection. Trina didn't know what a girl like Jade West would do in a bathroom, but this seems about right. She was concentrating. Trina glances at her, for a second, and like clockwork, Jade glances back, pressing the palms of her hands against the sink, concentrating not on herself but on Trina this time, as the latter girl shuffles her feet. "Hey, Ja-"

"Richards didn't break her wrist. Nasty bruise, yes, but it's intact, not even a fracture. Took her to the hospital, but only because of her screaming. Caused a big scene for nothing, probably just to mess with you." And Jade's eyes looking her up and down, before making contact again. "Ha! And it worked. But it really wasn't necessary. You're messed up enough as is, Vega, and I feel for you."

"Her wrist…isn't broken?" She doesn't address Jade's other point, that she is _messed up, _and Trina can instantly feel a weight off of her shoulders, something that she may or may not have been trying to mask, but nonetheless, it is gone.

"Of course it's not. I wish it was, she deserves it." Jade smiles, switching her eye contact to the sink in front of her, as if picking out its flaws. Jade reaches for the door handle, turning away from her, to the exit, and before Trina can stop herself it just comes out.

"You would come to my funeral, right, Jade, if I just died?" Trina regrets it at once, she doesn't as well, because she can see she got Jade's attention, as her body tenses and she turns back towards her.

Jade's eyes widen and her gaze seems more rigid than before, into her subject's eyes, searching for something else. "What are you talking about, Vega?"

"I, I don't know, that was, stupid, just forget it." (But in reality, Trina is hoping she _doesn't _forget it, because something inside her loves the concern she just brought upon Jade West.)

Jade is concerned, and it doesn't take a genius to see it, and mind you, it isn't _surprising _or anything that Jade is concerned, because she is beautiful voice with a beautiful heart, and any beautiful voice/heart would be concerned if one were to make this statement against oneself-

"You're not…planning anything, are you Vega? Cause that would be just stupid, telling you that right now. I know you're messed up, anyone can see it, well maybe just me, but that's just stupid, stupid…"

The question takes Trina by surprise, because really, is she planning _anything? _(She's planning her funeral, yes, but she's not planning to kill herself or anything, she doesn't _want _to die, well maybe she wouldn't mind it, but it's not a _desire _maybe just a surprise, or maybe a funeral is a request, or maybe-)

"Vega!" Jade West is awful concerned now, half by the statement Trina Vega just made, and half by the absent gaze in her eyes.

"I have to go, Jade, I've been here a while, primping and all." Trina Vega walks past her, half humiliated and half strangely joyed, by the known fact that someone, _anyone _has a concern about her. She leaves the bathroom and walks back to class, leaving Jade behind, leaving _that _behind, and replaying the scene over and over again, Jade's eyes, the way she turned around, the way Trina didn't know if there was a plan or not…

And that is what gets her in Lane's office, and for what, a small threat in an empty bathroom? That's what gets her out of last period, that same day, which means that Jade West is very swift, if that is the case, _but who else would it be, Trina, no one else knows…_

Lane smiles at her and Trina shifts in her chair, uncomfortable. This is different than the smile he gives her when he sees her in the hallway, on a rare occasion. He clears his throat, and smiles again, and Trina is just _sick of smiles._

"Hi Trina. Don't be freaked out or anything. You're not in trouble. I just want to talk, and nothing is going to happen."

"Okay," Trina says, and adrenaline is taking over, over what this man could possibly say to her, what he could think of her.

"How are you doing today, Trina? Your day been going well?"

"Fine, I guess, like all the rest."

"Your classes going okay?"

"Yeah."

And Lane takes a deep breath. "We have some concerns about you, Trina. A student told me that you have made a threat against yourself, or perhaps, a request for a funeral? They also said you weren't able to validate that you didn't have a plan in mind."

Trina trilled her lips, this is what an intervention was? She wasn't expecting anything different, but she was uncomfortable, at the least. At her silence, Lane speaks again. "Any thoughts, Trina?"

(The atmosphere is very awkward. Trina doesn't know what to say. She bets that if Tori was here, she'd have an organized presentation about her mental struggles, complete with diagrams and a Power Point too, but maybe one or two spelling errors, to show that it isn't _perfect, _you know.)

"Earth to Trina! Care to share?" Trina shakes her head, and Lane is exasperated, she can clearly see it, because of her, yes, her, good Trina, _good._

Good, but bad, good and bad, great, horrible, and Trina pictures the wildflowers once more.

**Thank you for reading/feedback! Everything is greatly appreciated. I hope that you enjoy my writing(:**

**~Jax **


End file.
